majority minority

it's weird when you are both minority culture and majority culture.  i suppose being mixed could be a minority in and of itself but when you have one parent that is part of the majority culture and another that is part of a minority culture, doesn't that make you both?  i've always thought it was such a strange experience to be seen as an american minority and then to travel to the minorty country of origin and be seen as anything but from that country. when i was little and we lived in japan, my family took a few trips to south korea in the summers. there, my sister and i were never seen as korean.  my dad was obviously american but who knows what we were.  i remember strongly feeling like i was very much connected to the people, place and culture of south korea and simultaneously as a complete foreigner and stranger. it is mind-boggling to me that such opposing feelings can co-exsist within one person.
in many normal majority group settings here in the u.s., i feel completely at ease until there is a moment when i realize that no one in the group would understand or know what i was talking about if i mentioned something about the asian side i grew up with. and that to even mention something casually would mean a longer explanation. it just makes me feel tired and anxious.  of course it is no one's fault that it is this way, it's just how it is. 
what it really seems to boil down to, is that yes, i am part of the majority culture and part of an ethnic minority culture but, i am also not part of either.  it is something completely different to be mixed.  maybe it's another minority that is both ethnic and not ethnic.  maybe someday it will just be what "american" means without a thought.  but, not today.
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