puke and the love of God



my little toddler has somewhat of a sensitive gag relfex.  put that with the fact that he is still learning how to not only chew up his food well before swallowing but to also not stuff his face on high speed...and you have a toddler who pukes.  sometimes more than i would like to admit. 
before we had asher, i don't think i ever imagined having to clean puke up so regularly.  i'd heard there would be lots of spit up and poop and because he was a boy, pee shooting in all directions...but i didn't know that he would puke so much once he reached the toddler stage.  i wouldn't have liked the thought of that back then.  and i don't so much like it now...except that it's different now, having him here in the flesh and having the desire and instinct to care for him and his well-being.  before we had asher, i had no idea what it meant to love someone like a parent loves a child.  i couldn't have fathomed it.
despite the love, these episodes can be exhausting.  the first time it happend - in his crib - i stood frozen for 10 seconds (which is a long time when your little one is screaming and covered in puke), trying to figure out what to do first.  now, i move like lightening to clean up whatever i can as quickly as i can and care for asher in the meantime.  oh, how i wish i could snap my finges and see the mess vanish in an instant.  but, it never does.
i've prayed the word "help" over and over again in many different parenting situations like these. and the answer is never of the snap-my-fingers-and-it-all-goes-away-poof! version.  but yesterday, as i knelt over a puke-covered blanket, picked chunks off of it, calmly undressed asher and told him he was going to be okay, bathed him, bathed his stuffed corduroy's foot and stuffed puppy's ear, re-dressed him, got new sheets and blankets and held him...i felt God's presence.  right there, smack-dab in the middle of the little details and mess.  my ever present help in trouble.  i forget this too often in hard situations.  yesterday, i could literally feel Him helping me move from one thing to the next, cleaning up, caring for, doing and re-doing what had to be done.  He was not only my ever present help but my strength, reminding me that what i was doing was really important.  it wasn't just help and strength for the sake of being a good mommy; it was for experiencing the love of God.
a friend shared this verse with us when we were preparing to become parents:
"He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young." 
-Isaiah 40:11
as i finished caring for my son, the verses came back to mind, reminding me that i am in the hands of a God who is tender and yet strong, one who cares for, helps, upholds and gently leads a still somewhat new mommy in the daily tasks of having a little one.  i am grateful that the God of the universe thinks that things like cleaning up puke (over and over again) and loving a little person are so significant and so important.  i am blessed beyond belief.
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