Our 4 + 1 story begins
I've waited awhile to mention something important that's been brewing in our household for the last year and more. The waiting has been on purpose and also because I just haven't known where or how to begin to share our news in this space.
In the past, it's been easy. A sentence has summed it up well -a short sentence at that. Something like: We are so thrilled to share that we are expecting!! And that would be it. Easy.
I suppose I could say we are, in a way, "expecting" again. But this time around, we are choosing to grow our family from 4 to 5 through adoption.
There are a lot of details that could be shared but I think I will just share a few for now. To be honest, there have been so many d.e.t.a.i.l.s. going on for the last few months between paperwork and home study appointments that I am tired of that necessary aspect. I am not naturally a details kind of girl. I would love to share more with you over a cup of coffee or tea or a fall cider if you are interested. All of this has been quite a journey for the past year or more and it's already been invasive, challenging, exciting and emotional. And we still have a long road ahead. The official short version of our news: we are adopting from South Korea. We have just finished our home study appointments and are working towards it being completed and finalized.
This isn't something the hubster and I have dreamt of doing our whole lives or our whole marriage. It's not because we think we are more of something or because we feel less than something else. Adoption has come into our lives as a slow surprise but we are becoming convinced that it is what God has prepared in advance for us to do long before we knew it.
Some of you, who have known me for a long time, know that there was a time when I wondered if marriage and family life was for me. God has a way of pulling my unknown-to-me-dreams and the "right fits" into my life through the back door. I have found love for things I didn't know I could love as much as I do, and discovered my own heartbeat beating alongside of His heartbeat in places I didn't know I could ever feel so alive in, as I have followed Him. He's surprised me left and right since I started walking with him - I guess I shouldn't be so surprised by it anymore! Stepping into the journey of adoption has been no different. Frankly, it's not what I always dreamed of. Like I said, I didn't dream of it before. Instead, it's come through the back door and God is showing me already, that it is and will be much MORE than we could have dreamed of, like many of the places and things he's surprisingly led me/us to before... living overseas, full-time ministry, marriage, motherhood, leaving full-time ministry, family, community, contentment...
We want to invite you into part of this story now and ask those of you who pray, if you would pray with us. We would be so grateful for your prayers for us and for our littlest one as we walk this road of becoming a family of 5. It's exciting but it also feels like walking across an unbelievably long, shaky, wooden bridge with planks that don't appear to be so sturdy. We know we need our community and prayers of the saints. We know the road ahead will be complex. Early on, before we took the plunge and decided to move forward, it was made very clear to me that this story was ultimately God's story. After a long talk with a wise and wonderful woman at our adoption agency, I left for a Noonday Collection Trunk Show and had some sweet, teary time with Jesus in the car ride there. I could see how this new journey we were stepping into was where God was leading our family. It felt uncomfortable, but right. I wondered if we could really do it and tried to picture how it would all work in my mind. I couldn't. This new adventure, He said, would ask for my faith to stretch further. I felt afraid and yet so encouraged as I could sense God's presence and knew in my heart that his faithfulness would be what we stood upon in the days, weeks, months, years and unknowns, ahead. I could also see so many pieces of our past falling into place and suddenly it all made sense that we were in this place: this season, this time, being at our specific church home, and even at our specific address in our little neighborhood.
He has brought us to this place. If you have walked the last 10 years or so of our story with us, you know why this matters. If you read some of my posts on Our Desert, you might understand a glimpse of why this matters. He has been and is so very faithful. So yes, we are expecting! We don't know how many months or years we have to wait. And we don't know the trauma our littlest one will come from yet. Or what things will be ahead when he or she has a face and a name that is visible and tangible to our eyes. For now, our hearts wait and our hands work. And we have much hope.