Bye, bye November

Yikes.  Where did November go?

We are in full-swing celebrating the Advent season over here.  And I cannot express enough, just how much I love it.  We have to keep things pretty simple with an almost 6 year old and a 3 year old, but I'm fine with that.  They are as excited as can be and their anticipation for Christmas day has changed the atmosphere in our home.   My favorite spot in the house is in our armchair closest to the Christmas tree.  The magic of a fir tree all lit up and covered in eclectic, un-matching ornaments full of memories, is still very real to me.

Aside from the beauty of the season, I am in a strange place this December.  Decisions are brewing and being tossed around in my head and heart, and yet all the while life on the outside of me just looks very similar, very mundane, very nothing-new-to-share...

I've been taking in far too many opinions lately - reading heated opinions about adoption, about race, about politics, about Christians and about food and health...and while I know that all of it can be helpful for learning and growing, sometimes it's just exhausting.  Sometimes it's heart-breaking.  Sometimes we need to take a step back and breathe, feel, and put on our humble jackets.  I say that not meaning that we shouldn't have opinions or speak them, but because I believe opinions don't do anything good without humility.  Anybody else feel overloaded with articles, comments, noise, images, and voices full of opinions without a trace of humility?  Or is it just me?

Anyway, all of it has made me feel less than motivated to blog.  I don't want to add to the noise, though I do have my opinions about a multitude of things and think those things matter a great deal.  I just know how easy it is for me to make my opinion, my interests, this new book, that particular way to follow Jesus, my whatever-I-am-into-at-the-moment-thing, the main thing.

Idolatry usually doesn't look like idolatry from our own point of view.

So back to Christmas.  In this season of Advent, I am longing to have a still heart,  a heart with only one master: THE King of Kings, Jesus.  So,  I might continue to be a bit quiet on the blog here for awhile as I work some more junk out in my heart.  I'm sure most of it will find it's way worked out and processed further in this very place, for the few of you who do follow along with our adventures here.

One thing I am asking myself this season:  What does it look like for an Asian American woman in her 30s, a mama of littles, a wife, and a suburban dweller who is privileged enough to be able to decide where I want to shop for groceries and everything else for that matter, to be able say and live like Paul's words in his letter to the Philippians,

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.  For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ"? -Philippians 3:8

What does that look like for you?




4 comments